College

Year One. Check.

by Tessa on April 23, 2014

in College, Daily Life, Style

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Freshmen year –> over! Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, I was in 5th grade playing doll house pretending the dolls were huge college students and talking about how one day I would be there. For the dolls, college was a musical (literally), with boys galore (obviously), and no homework (why would it be any different?), and parties every weekend (everyday actually). If I were to calculate the accuracy of my imaginings, I probably had about 10% of it right… haha! While college isn’t the musical I imagined, there has been a lot of “Frozen” rock-out sessions (but hasn’t it been the same for everyone?). We’ll skip the boy topic and move on to the “no homework”, how beautiful that would have been! But library sessions until closing time did happen on more than just a few occasion (at least they play Tarzan music at closing times… obviously that’s the real reason I stayed). My doll house fantasies were accurate when it came to making fantastic friends, however! Especially in Student Government which has been the highlight of my semester (I’d recommend getting involved to anyone and everyone). So in short, college has been marvelous, exciting, and incredibly stressful! So of course I’m incredibly sad to leave but also excited for a break.

Anyway, note on the random photos: I was in a photography class with an assignment to play with lighting but I didn’t understand anything so I made (actually he volunteered) my friend James teach me the reins. I started out behind the camera but ended up in front of it–per usual.

Also, side note number two: you can follow me on instagram @deartessalynn. I frequent instagram far more than my blog these days.

Anyyyway, how are all of you doing!? What’s going on in your lives?

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It’s 1am. I’ve wandered over to this little forgotten blog of mine after creating a LinkedIn Profile for my Intro to Business class. I’ve been scrolling through past posts and I miss this place. I miss this writing. I miss sharing my life. Mostly I miss the life I used to share. I miss the melodic sound of clicking keys as my personal thoughts roam from my head, through my veins, out my fingertips, and onto the screen. I miss writing my own thoughts and feelings, not assigned thoughts like english papers or math project analyses. College is wonderful but it doesn’t quite compare to the lavender fields or cherry stands in Provence. Cafeteria food doesn’t quite taste  like Spanish churros dipped in rich dark chocolate or French pastries peppered in soft powder. The wind is strong in Idaho but it isn’t the same Spanish coastal wind that’s filled with moisture and the ocean scent. I miss hearing languages I don’t understand. My thoughts should be on my work but Wanderlust has grasped me by the throat and is seeping through my skin and running heavily through my veins.
I think it’s just late. And I’m tired. And I’ve simply exhausted myself for the day.
However, before I go, I thought I’d share some pictures a talented friend took a few days ago (for old times sake). This is a new phase of my life now. And it truly is a beautiful life. Each day there are so many things to be grateful for, like the sky when it’s a deep rich blue and the random smile from a stranger. Most days are wonderful, tonight my thoughts are simply stuck in the abandoned castles of the Catalunya countryside in Spain and with the goats that roam around old french barns tucked between the luscious green pyrenees in France. I’ll go there in my dreams tonight and tomorrow will be a beautiful new day.
Goodnight world, sleep well. And dream of wonderful things.

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The Beach, A Nostalgic Place

by Tessa on July 30, 2013

in California, College, Style

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CAPants & Sweater (That has King Kong on it. It’s amazing.) // Thrifted
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My family left for Utah to look for a home and I’m chilling with my aunt and little cousin at my grandparents’ beach house. We’ve been coming here since I was 8 and it’s filled with memories!! My older brother and I would bike to the pier everyday and buy candy and soft serve ice creams or bike to the next pier and blow our quarters at the arcade. We’d spend hours jumping over waves and digging our little hands in the sand to find the biggest sand crabs. We’d watch the sunset from the lifeguard towers and pull on the locks of the tower doors to see if we could peek inside. When it grew late we’d make s’mores over my grandma’s fire pit and wait until there wasn’t a soul on the beach so we could play sardines and hide behind the large, rusted blue dumpsters and under the lifeguard towers.

I’m sitting by myself on the patio writing this, enjoying the wind blowing through my hair and the comforting sound of the waves, and feeling nostalgic. It’s exciting to grow up and gain new privileges, like dating, driving, independence, etc. but sometimes I wish I was a kid again. Wonderful were the days when you could play from dawn until dusk without a care in the world! Maybe I’m just feeling nervous about how much is ahead of me and all the big decisions that are in my immediate future. Maybe I’m just wishing for the comfort of being a child, when the biggest decisions you’d have to make were what you’d wear for the first day of school.  I don’t know what I want to do with my life yet and it’s a little unnerving that I don’t know where I’ll be, not just in 10 or 5 years, but 2 years! As I go off to college and enter into adulthood and a period of transition, I may be leaving my childhood behind, but I don’t have to leave the child I was behind; she’s inside and she’s braver and more courageous than I am. Maybe she’ll help me through!
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I love this kid. Enjoy your childhood, Goose.

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